Style Q & A: How long should the front be of an untucked button up shirt? Pay attention, gentlemen. More tips and love capsules from The Love Whisperer.
7 Deadly sins of dating
Friday, January 11, 2013
Don’t say that you weren’t warned! Nothing can kill a budding relationship faster than one of the seven dating mistakes below.
1. RUSHING INTO SEX
There isn’t a universal right time to become intimate with a new partner, however, if you have sex before a man has had a chance to get to know you, then you risk him placing you in the “fling” category and losing interest. A man has to invest and appreciate your other qualities beyond the physical for him to want to make you his girlfriend. So don’t be afraid to take your time and make him wait until it feels right for you; the “three date rule” is a myth!
2. OPENING UP TOO FAST
Likewise, it isn’t smart to rush in and tell him all of your sad childhood stories. Although it’s natural to want to speed up the bonding process, you have to pace the amount of information you share. You don’t want to scare him off with TMI or convince him that you’re a high-drama mamma.
3. CALLING/TEXTING/EMAILING TOO MUCH
While it’s true that we live in an age of over-sharing, you’ll just have to trust us on this one and play it cool. Men typically enjoy playing the role of the chaser, not the chasee, so constantly calling them can have the reverse effect of making them less interested, not more. So put down that phone, slowly back away from the computer, and let him sweat it out for a change.
How To Be Young
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Think you’re old and never realize how young you actually are. Fixate on the fact that you love The Container Store and Bed, Bath & Beyond and drinking tea and eating organic. This means something to you. It means you’re figuring out how to be an adult and you won’t be left behind. Show your receipt from Crate and Barrel to a 30-year-old and say, “See? I’m getting there. Let me through!”
Don’t think too much about why all of this matters to you. Don’t think about why cooking your own dinners and buying a new rug for your apartment is more important than going back home in a cab drunk at five in the morning. Never admit to yourself that the drunk cab rides make you happier than the damn kale you bought at the bodega. That would make you feel guilty, that would make you actually feel young (something you’re never supposed to feel.) Life is all about being young and pretending to be old, and being old and wishing you were young. Are you getting it, yet?
Spend so many years not liking yourself while trying to get others to like you. God, we’re so hard on ourselves. If only you could feel like you deserve that wasted night with your friends and spending Sunday hungover with someone in bed—someone you’ll try to forget and later on try to remember. Being young is all about wanting to connect with someone but feeling too disconnected to actually do so. I think you’re getting it now.
How To Escape The Friend Zone
Friday, September 21, 2012
Getting stuck in the friend zone is the WORST. So if you find yourself wanting to jump from the Friend Ship to the Relation Ship, abide by these four strategies to make the tricky transition go as smooth as possible.
1. Assess the Situation
- First, is your friend available? If your friend is currently in a relationship or even getting over someone and is confused about his or her feelings, then don’t make your move just yet. Otherwise you’ll look like you’re trying to seize an opportunity, which could leave her or him feeling betrayed. If, however, you spend lots of one-on-one time together, your interactions often feel like dates, or they have a romantic energy about them, those are good signs that you could become something more than friends.
2. Test the Waters
- In conversation mention, ‘Gee, if I were dating you, I would do x, y, z,’ and see your friend’s reaction to it. If it makes her/him uncomfortable or your friend laughs and says, ‘Oh stop!’ with an awkward smile, you may be crossing the boundary and need to respect that he/she may simply just want to be friends with you. But if your friend seems genuinely interested in how you would treat her/him—for instance, your friend asks follow-up questions to your hypothetical scenario—then your friend may already be thinking you’re girlfriend/boyfriend material.
- The Love Whisperer is patient and kind. The Love Whisperer does not envy, does not boast and is not proud. The Love Whisperer does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered. The Love Whisperer keeps no record of wrongs. The Love Whisperer does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. The Love Whisperer always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. [1]
For one task we have the Dog Whisperer; for the other we need the Love Whisperer. The Love Whisperer quietly guides us back to our hearts. The Love Whisperer dwells in your own heart and soul. All you have to do is turn up the volume to hear its mantra: “Choose love, choose love, choose love.” [2]
Hugs since 1.25.13
Thursday, January 24, 2013
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