“Tell me I’m not making a mistake. Tell me that you’re worth the wait, that you’re always going to be here. Make me believe that I’m making the right decision by still holding on. Show me that you’re going to be around to catch me when I fall.”
—
June 2012
“Anyone can easily walk away from somebody else. Nobody is forced to stay, we all have choices. The real test is if someone would rather stay with you, even though walking away could be so much easier.”
—
Love Whisper #4
Anonymous asked: I dont understad myself. I dont know why I am the way I am. I get so violent sometimes. I cant control my anger. Everytime I am angry, I say harsh words and I even hit/hurt myself and even my boyfriend. Right now, i think he had enough of it. Everytime I get angryI hit him and curse at him, I know it is all my fault. i just cant control my anger. i love jom so much and i know he loves me too, but i dont think this relationship will last because of my problem :-(
The Love Whisperer: Hello. I understand that we may act violent sometimes but if it happens so often and affects your life and relationship then it must be a behavioral problem that needs to be resolved. This behavior may have been due to your past experiences and issues that haven’t been resolved yet. And when I say past here, I mean during your childhood to the present. It could be how your parents raised you, I mean are they lenient or are they strict. Have you had traumatic experiences, etc. This requires extensive interview and interaction so I can only do so much here. Really, you must consider seeking for help because you know, this behavior isn’t healthy. You already admitted that there is something wrong and that is the first step so I wish the best for you. Meantime, consider not to hurt anyone or yourself. Keep calm.
shshsh*****e asked: Hi, I really needed to let someone know how I feel. & its getting difficult because my own best friend won’t listen to me nor will my sister. I just got out of this relationship where it was long distance. & the guy [nick] & i were flat out close and we liked each other. But, in the past, I was raped by my ex two years ago and I haven’t been the same since. Nick knows the situation and he knows I’m getting professional help. But, me being myself I got insecure and I broke up with him because we didn’t talk for a day and his phone was off. & so i went all crazy and just told him we were through. I thought if I let him go first, it wouldn’t hurt as much. Then 3 days later he tells me that he was in the hospital. I never felt stupid in my entire life. & so he said that he’s unsure to fix it because of it being long distant. I really want to let him know I’m sorry. & that i want to fix it. But again, he deserves someone better. sorry it’s so boring and pathetic. I love your blog so much[:
The Love Whisperer: Hello I am moved by your message and I admire you for telling me this. You are having trust issues and I understand it due to your past traumatic experience and I am happy to know that you are seeking for help. Trust is the very foundation of love and it is what makes every relationship that lasts healthy. And don’t blame yourself for not being able to give enough trust, it is understandable due to your situation and your current boyfriend must understand it too. Please know that you need support in this and you may find it with your boyfriend but if you feel that your current relationship can’t help you then I guess that may have to wait. Let your boyfriend know and understand this. Continue with what you are doing now and hopefully you may feel better the soonest possible time, when that day comes you are more capable of loving. Remember forgiveness is important.
More questions answered after the jump
Six Stages of Fangirling
1. Discovery - “Who is that sex god and why haven’t I noticed him before”
2. Research - “I have to find out everything about him. Omg what is his full name, what is his birthday, do you think he has a wife, does he have children, does he like jam, does he like cats, I wonder what photos there are of him. Is he even real omg”
3. Obsession - “I love him so much. Omg what you like him too, no you can’t have him he’s mine no. I must collect everything relevant to him I need it all he’s mine MINE”
4. Plotting - “Hello google can I have a recipe for the strongest love potion in the world thank you or can you just give me a list of ways to successfully seduce a man that’d be great”“
5. Depression - “I hate you you’ve ruined my entire life why are you so perfect why don’t you know me why does everything suck omg my life is over and it’s all your fault”
6. Acceptance - “I have accepted that I will never know you but I will continuously love you and I am okay with that”
“I wanted to gather up everything I just said and stuff it back into my mouth. But once you’ve said something you can’t unsay it. Your words are out there, aren’t they? Buzzing around in the quiet of the room so you can hear them echoing back to you.”
—
“You know what your problem is? You get attached, fast. And once you’re attached to someone, you do everything you can to please them and make them happy. It’s never been about what you want, it’s always everyone’s needs before your own. You give out too many chances to people, who quite frankly, do not deserve them. They take advantage of you, and you become a pushover. But you’re okay with that, because they’re in your life and that’s all you ever really wanted. And even if they screw you over, you’ll still be there for them. Because that’s you, that who you are. Once you get attached to someone, they capture your heart and they always have a place there. And that is why it’s so hard for you to let him go.”
—
Top 5 Tips To Clear Your Head
I find myself frustrated and moody all the time. Loosing my temper too easily and I get mad without unnecessary reason, so here I end up looking for refreshment! Thanks to this! :D
Sometimes you can have days or even weeks when you have so much on your mind that you’re never quite able to get focused. It’s at times like these that you’ll need to do some serious decluttering!
Decluttering your mind is about clearing your head so you can focus more on the important things. Aside from making a list and trying to get organized, here are tips to help you clear your mind of any ‘excess baggage’, so that you will be able to focus more on the things that are of the greatest importance.
1. Let go of negativity
It’s you and you alone who is in charge of what goes through your mind—but somehow many of us allow ourselves to become bogged down with negative thoughts. If you go around thinking negatively all the time, then you’re never going to be in a particularly good mood—so it’s best tolet go of negative thoughts whenever possible, as it will relieve your mind of excessive stress. After all, if something has made you mad, what good is there in stewing over it all day?
2. Learn to say ‘no’
Some people just can’t say no, and always say ‘yes’ when they have been asked to do favours for others or have been offered an invitation. If you’ve already got enough on your plate then don’t be tempted to add to it. So, if a work colleague asks you to do something, always think about whether or not it’s practical for you to take the task on board. And there will surely be one or two things that you can say ‘no’ to in other areas as well. Sometimes if you just keep saying yes to something, it becomes a habit, and you very often get stuck with doing it — so train yourself to say ‘no’ when you need to.
“This is your life. Do what you love, and do it often. If you don’t like something, change it. If you don’t like your job, quit. If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV. If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; They will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love. Stop over analyzing, life is simple. All emotions are beautiful. When you eat, appreciate every last bite. Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people, we are united in our differences. Ask the next person you see what their passion is, and share your inspiring dream with them. Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself. Some opportunities only come once, seize them. Life is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them so go out and start creating. Live your dream and share your passion. Life is short.”
—The Holstee Manifesto
“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”
—
“Here’s a toast. To the good days, the better friends. The ones that you just can’t live without. The people that have taught you how to party. How to live. How to have a good time just sitting around. Here are to the people that no matter how bad things seem, are going to be there for you. To lean back on and catch you if you fall.”
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