Anonymous asked: I dont understad myself. I dont know why I am the way I am. I get so violent sometimes. I cant control my anger. Everytime I am angry, I say harsh words and I even hit/hurt myself and even my boyfriend. Right now, i think he had enough of it. Everytime I get angryI hit him and curse at him, I know it is all my fault. i just cant control my anger. i love jom so much and i know he loves me too, but i dont think this relationship will last because of my problem :-(
The Love Whisperer: Hello. I understand that we may act violent sometimes but if it happens so often and affects your life and relationship then it must be a behavioral problem that needs to be resolved. This behavior may have been due to your past experiences and issues that haven’t been resolved yet. And when I say past here, I mean during your childhood to the present. It could be how your parents raised you, I mean are they lenient or are they strict. Have you had traumatic experiences, etc. This requires extensive interview and interaction so I can only do so much here. Really, you must consider seeking for help because you know, this behavior isn’t healthy. You already admitted that there is something wrong and that is the first step so I wish the best for you. Meantime, consider not to hurt anyone or yourself. Keep calm.
shshsh*****e asked: Hi, I really needed to let someone know how I feel. & its getting difficult because my own best friend won’t listen to me nor will my sister. I just got out of this relationship where it was long distance. & the guy [nick] & i were flat out close and we liked each other. But, in the past, I was raped by my ex two years ago and I haven’t been the same since. Nick knows the situation and he knows I’m getting professional help. But, me being myself I got insecure and I broke up with him because we didn’t talk for a day and his phone was off. & so i went all crazy and just told him we were through. I thought if I let him go first, it wouldn’t hurt as much. Then 3 days later he tells me that he was in the hospital. I never felt stupid in my entire life. & so he said that he’s unsure to fix it because of it being long distant. I really want to let him know I’m sorry. & that i want to fix it. But again, he deserves someone better. sorry it’s so boring and pathetic. I love your blog so much[:
The Love Whisperer: Hello I am moved by your message and I admire you for telling me this. You are having trust issues and I understand it due to your past traumatic experience and I am happy to know that you are seeking for help. Trust is the very foundation of love and it is what makes every relationship that lasts healthy. And don’t blame yourself for not being able to give enough trust, it is understandable due to your situation and your current boyfriend must understand it too. Please know that you need support in this and you may find it with your boyfriend but if you feel that your current relationship can’t help you then I guess that may have to wait. Let your boyfriend know and understand this. Continue with what you are doing now and hopefully you may feel better the soonest possible time, when that day comes you are more capable of loving. Remember forgiveness is important.
More questions answered after the jump
1. Discovery - “Who is that sex god and why haven’t I noticed him before”
2. Research - “I have to find out everything about him. Omg what is his full name, what is his birthday, do you think he has a wife, does he have children, does he like jam, does he like cats, I wonder what photos there are of him. Is he even real omg”
3. Obsession - “I love him so much. Omg what you like him too, no you can’t have him he’s mine no. I must collect everything relevant to him I need it all he’s mine MINE”
4. Plotting - “Hello google can I have a recipe for the strongest love potion in the world thank you or can you just give me a list of ways to successfully seduce a man that’d be great”“
5. Depression - “I hate you you’ve ruined my entire life why are you so perfect why don’t you know me why does everything suck omg my life is over and it’s all your fault”
6. Acceptance - “I have accepted that I will never know you but I will continuously love you and I am okay with that”
I find myself frustrated and moody all the time. Loosing my temper too easily and I get mad without unnecessary reason, so here I end up looking for refreshment! Thanks to this! :D
Sometimes you can have days or even weeks when you have so much on your mind that you’re never quite able to get focused. It’s at times like these that you’ll need to do some serious decluttering!
Decluttering your mind is about clearing your head so you can focus more on the important things. Aside from making a list and trying to get organized, here are tips to help you clear your mind of any ‘excess baggage’, so that you will be able to focus more on the things that are of the greatest importance.
1. Let go of negativity
It’s you and you alone who is in charge of what goes through your mind—but somehow many of us allow ourselves to become bogged down with negative thoughts. If you go around thinking negatively all the time, then you’re never going to be in a particularly good mood—so it’s best tolet go of negative thoughts whenever possible, as it will relieve your mind of excessive stress. After all, if something has made you mad, what good is there in stewing over it all day?
2. Learn to say ‘no’
Some people just can’t say no, and always say ‘yes’ when they have been asked to do favours for others or have been offered an invitation. If you’ve already got enough on your plate then don’t be tempted to add to it. So, if a work colleague asks you to do something, always think about whether or not it’s practical for you to take the task on board. And there will surely be one or two things that you can say ‘no’ to in other areas as well. Sometimes if you just keep saying yes to something, it becomes a habit, and you very often get stuck with doing it — so train yourself to say ‘no’ when you need to.